I think about poker a lot, I read quite a bit here on these forums aswell as the latest Harrington book which I bought recently, I've watched training videos on deucescracked and cardrunners and so far I have profited since I started playing 2 years ago. I started out at 10NL and I never moved up, due to many reasons (travelling etc) but mostly because I just can't put in any volume. Not because I lack time, I work full-time but when I am off work I don't have anything that occupies my time except for excersising.
So, why do I not put in any volume? One reason might be that the way I handle tilt is to stop playing, I never spew off money (only when I play terribly, not because of tilt). Most of my sessions have atleast a few bad beats, which is standard. If I get KK pre and lose to AA, I don't tilt at all. 2 minutes later I pick up AA, get it in against QQ and lose, now I am slightly sad/tilted. Add one more bad beat to this and I call it a day and quit playing for the day or for a few days. What is my problem...?
I just want to not give a **** about studying/if the games are beatable/if my site is the 'best' one/if there still are fish for some time, since if I just put in enough volume I would get the answer to all these questions. And yes, my brain sucks, it worries about absolutely everything all the time.